Hope
by DDR DAV3
Summary: [Kataang] As night falls after the failed invasion, Aang falls into a depressive state, and must search deep within himself to see what is truly worth fighting for. R&R!


Hey there everyone, welcome to my first fanfic ever! (I feel like it's a party; darn I should have brought snacks XD). Anyhoo, I really hope you enjoy this story as I had a really good time writing it! Enjoy it and keep rocking on!!!

Also in the story, (' ') indicates thoughts and (" ") indicates actual speech)

P.S.: If you didn't catch it in the summary, it's a Kataang fic ;)

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**Disclaimer: **Avatar does not belong to me; it belongs to Mike, Brian, Nick, Viacom, blah blah blah blah blah, legal crap, legal crap…

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Hope…It's such a horrible word.

It gives so much false warmth and happiness when it rolls off the tongue, disguising itself as a gentle breeze that lightly tickles your ears, coaxing whoever hears it into an unrealistic sense of security; foolishly giving you the feeling that no matter what happens, everything will turn out all right. Until of course when it all comes crashing down in the end in a swirling torrent of pain and anguish, leaving you feeling nothing but cold, afraid, and wondering if it is even worth it to try for a better tomorrow knowing that any hope you once held for the future will end up letting you down in the end.

These were some of the many thoughts that were running through Aang's head as he guided Appa through the night sky toward the Western Air Temple. It had been 5 hours since the group had left the Fire Nation, and yet the event seemed so fresh in the young Avatar's mind. If Aang hadn't turned around to see most of the group peacefully asleep, he would swear that everything had transpired mere seconds ago.

'I failed…' Aang thought grimly to himself. 'I failed…_again._'

Hot tears stung Aang's eyes as the cold night wind whipped against his face. He snapped his arm up and angrily wiped them away, only to find them replaced by new ones.

'Why does this always happen?!' Aang screamed in his head. 'First I let everyone down at Ba Sing Se, and now this.'

Aang's hands turned white as his grip on Aapa's reins tightened due to the ever-growing rage flowing within him.

'I've let down so many people today' Aang thought as he continued his mental assault on himself. 'Not only have I let down countless people in the Fire Nation and the rest of the world, I've hurt so many people close to me. All my friends were counting on me, and I couldn't succeed, even when I gave it my all.'

Anger and sadness ruthlessly began to course through his veins as he continued to lament to himself, 'I ripped apart so many families today, so many lives that had finally been brought back together from this war, and now they have to be apart from each other again, all because I couldn't be there for them when they really needed me, just like all the other times they needed me…'

Aang sighed sadly. 'But the person I think I hurt the worst is the one person who I've been trying to make sure never got hurt because of me and the mistakes I've made in the past; the one person who always heals my pain, whether the wounds on my body or the ones in my heart; the one person who is always there for me, even though my constant failures make me unable to return the favor…Ka-'

"Aang?" A voice behind him said.

Aang jumped at the sudden interruption of his thoughts and turned around, only to see the person who was causing his heart to ache so badly. Katara stood a few feet away from Aang, her hands hidden behind her back and a worried look set upon her face.

"Aang, are you okay?" Her voice so full of concern for him, the person who was causing her all of this unneeded trauma and heartache, made him want to break down right then and there.

"I'm…fine Katara." He gave her a weak smile in an effort to reassure her.

Katara didn't say anything; she continued to stand before Aang with that same concerned look on her face. Aang gazed longingly at her, her beautiful ocean blue eyes shining in the moonlight, her long flowing hair gently fluttering in the night breeze, her tanned skin which seemed to radiate with a glowing warmth that he just wanted to embrace and lock the rest of the world away in; everything about her was so perfect, and yet she continued to burden herself countless times just to help him, a simple air monk who didn't even deserve to be in her presence because of everything he had already put her through.

Aang couldn't bear to look at her any more, the pain he felt knowing all of the hardships he had caused her forced him to tear his eyes away from her, no matter how agonizing it was to do so, and again focus solely on the black sky in front of him, trying, but failing miserably, to block out the beautiful portrait of heaven he was continually blessed to be given the opportunity to gaze upon everyday whenever his heart desired so, which was Katara.

Katara remained silent as Aang continued to stare out into the dark nothingness; Aang assumed she simply retreated to where she had gotten up from to check on him, and he didn't dare look back to further confirm those assumptions, the last thing he deserved right now, was her never-ending grace. As these thoughts continued to whirl wind through his head, everything in his mind came to an abrupt halt when he felt a soft hand rest upon his shoulder; he whipped his head around, only to see Katara's gorgeous cerulean eyes staring straight back at his stormy grey ones.

Katara kneeled next to Aang. "Please Aang," she said quietly with a hint of desperation in her voice. "Please talk to me…"

Aang's lower lip trembled as he continued to stare into Katara's eyes, wanting so dearly to lose himself completely in them, but soon regained what little composure he had.

"I-I told you I'm fine Katara." Aang said sternly, his voice slightly shaky.

Katara continued to look at him sadly. "Aang," she began, "I know how you are when you're hurting inside; you don't have to hide it from me."

Aang put his hand on Katara's and gently released her grip on his shoulder. "Katara, I'm not hiding anything from you." Aang said, trying to keep his voice calm as he lowered her hand to the ground "I can handle these things on my own." He quickly released his hold on Katara's hand.

Katara folded her hands together in her lap. "Aang," she said further pressing her friend. "I know that you can handle it, but I just---"

She was cut of sharply by Aang. "Look, I said I'm fine Katara." He said, his voice rising slightly. "Please don't concern yourself with my problems, they're my burdens to deal with and I have to deal with them alone."

Katara was slightly taken aback at Aang's response. "I really hope you don't think that Aang." She said sadly. "You know that we're all here for you, no matter what happens."

Aang continued to stare out in front of him, blocking Katara from his view. "I know that Katara," he said flatly. "But I don't want you or anyone else to be concerned about fixing my mistakes. They're my fault and I have to carry the weight of them myself."

Aang continued on as Katara listened, her sadness for her once cheerful friend growing with each passing second. "I've messed up so many times already in my life," Aang said. "And now, with all of this happening, I almost feel as though no matter what I do, everything's going to just turn out wrong in the end."

Katara replaced her hand on Aang's shoulder, gripping onto it firmly. "Aang, you can't say things like that," Katara said in a determined voice. "No matter what happens, no matter how bad things may seem, you can't lose hope."

Aang shut his eyes tightly hearing Katara use that word again.

"Please Katara," Aang said in a stern voice. "Please don't say that word."

Katara raised her eyebrow as she continued to stare at Aang. "Why not?" She asked, concern once again filling her voice.

Aang narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth. "Because I hate that word." Aang said, his voice full of loathing.

Katara was truly puzzled; this wasn't like Aang at all. "Why would you say that Aang?" She asked. "Why would you hate it? It's a word that makes people happy."

Aang turned his head to again face Katara, his eyes holding a combination of anger and sadness that she had never seen before. His eyes looked so dull, so devoid of emotion, that Katara had to reassure herself that they were the same sparking, joyful ones she had grown so fond of.

"That's just it Katara, it's nothing but a stupid word that does nothing but give people a futile sense of comfort until everything that can possibly go wrong does." Aang said flatly. "People spend so much time believing in "hope" and it always ends the exact same way, leaving whoever is stupid enough to believe in it feeling worse than they felt before, all because they think one word is going to make everything better."

Aang's voice had become so hollow and empty, it made Katara's heart wretch with an unbearable ache as his rant came to an end with one stoic line that sent horrible chills to her very core,

"People would be better off not believing in hope at all."

Those words hit Katara like a cold slap to the face. She lost the feeling in her arm as it shakily dropped to the ground; the one person she believed in and cared for so dearly, the only hope for the world from the ruthless tyranny of the Fire Lord, was quickly losing faith in anything he ever believed in, including himself. A trunk load of emotions all hit her at the same time; confusion, fear, anger, and most of all, terrible sorrow for her friend, all settled at the same time in the pit of her stomach. Her vision clouded with tears as these emotions grew ever stronger with every passing second she was forced to stare into those empty grey voids she once knew as his eyes. The hurricane force in her stomach started to contract as she tried to hold everything in, she felt every fiber of her emotions turning from sadness to anger; anger from what was happening to him and anger that he was letting it take over him so easily without putting up so much as a fight for what he claimed to believe in. She clenched and unclenched her hands tightly and felt the anger rising in her voice as she forced herself to, once again, look at Aang's now current pathetic state, in opposition to the optimistic and beautiful one she had grown to admire so.

"So that's it, is it Aang?" Katara said, trying to keep her voice calm but slowly losing the fight. "You're just giving up, on everyone and everything?"

Aang could hear the sadness and anger in her voice, but looked to the ground and didn't respond. Katara felt her anger grow as she whipped herself around so she was no longer facing Aang, she couldn't stand to see him like this anymore.

Aang reached up and cautiously rested her hand on her shoulder, feeling it twitch slightly at his contact. "Katara…I just---"

"You just what Aang?!" Katara suddenly snapped at him smacking his hand off from her shoulder. "You made it pretty clear that you have nothing more to believe in, what else could you possibly have to say?!"

"Katara…" Aang started.

But Katara didn't let him finish, "I guess that means you've given up on me too, am I right Aang?" Katara said; her resolve crumbling as her voice started to crack.

Aang stared at her confused. "Katara, what are you talking about?"

A single tear escaped Katara's eye and she quickly wiped it away as it rolled down her cheek.

"If you've truly lost faith in everything, then you couldn't possibly hold anything for me in that void of yours you call a heart, right?" Katara said, on the verge now of breaking completely down.

Aang only continued to stare at her, his voice lost in his throat; what could she possibly be trying to say?

Tears began to flow freely down Katara's face as she continued,

"If everything you said up to this point is true," she said, trying to keep her voice as strong as possible. "Then you're nothing but a liar Aang." She quickly wiped her hand across her face to dry her tears as she continued to stare Aang down.

Now Aang was starting to get angry. A liar, about what? She wasn't making any sense at all, and calling him a liar was crossing the line.

"Katara, what the heck are you talking about?" Aang said in a raised voice. "You have no right accusing me of something I've never done; I've never lied to you about anything!"

"Oh really Aang; nothing, nothing at all?" she said shrilly. "Then what was that kiss of yours this morning supposed to mean then, just your version of saying 'see you later'?" Aang just stared at her wide-eyed as she continued to glare at him and firmly folded her arms across her chest.

The kiss.

Aang's head swirled as he finally remembered everything that had taken place earlier that day. He had laid all of his feelings for her out on the table in that one fateful moment when he swiftly pressed his rough, nervous lips against her soft, beautiful ones; something he had only dreamed about having the courage to do in the past. But after everything that had transpired throughout the day unfolded, the moment completely escaped his current state of mind, the one so full of rage and self-pity, completely pushing out the one person who he was truly trying so hard to make everything better for. He _had _forgotten about her. He _had _closed out all of the feelings for her he had shown to Katara during that kiss.

Katara was right; he deserved to be called a liar.

Aang tore his eyes away from Katara's and stared at the ground as the realization of everything he was putting her through hit him at full force. He stared at his hands and remained silent, not knowing what he should say to her next or if he even deserved the opportunity to say anything more.

Katara just stared as Aang remained quiet; never in her life had silence seemed so loud.

"So…I guess I was right then," Katara said in a much smaller voice as tears began to fall from her eyes again. "Your kiss…meant nothing…nothing…at all." Katara barely made out the last two words as a sob escaped her throat and once again turned her back on Aang. Katara buried her face in her hands as silent sobs finally took over her.

'Is this it?' Katara thought miserably to herself. 'Has everything up to now meant absolutely nothing, am I really just a fool?'

Katara's body shuddered as her misery continued to grow, feeling her tears seep through her hands, falling into her lap. She couldn't imagine this feeling of dread and emptiness getting much worse. Just when she thought she had hit rock bottom, she felt two warm arms wrap themselves around her. Katara's tears briefly stopped as she removed her hands from her eyes looked round to see that those warm arms belonged to none other than Aang.

"Katara…"Aang said gently. "I'm sorry. You're right, I did give up."

Katara felt a few more tears leave her eyes, but felt Aang's hand travel up to gently wipe them away with his thumb. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.

"I promised myself this morning that I wouldn't fail the world again, that I wouldn't fail you again; and this afternoon, because of everything that had happened, I felt like I had." Aang said. "Because I fell for all of Azula's traps, and made your friends and family prisoners of the Fire Nation, separating you from them once again, I knew I had been unsuccessful in everything I set out to accomplish during the invasion; even though I and everyone else had been so hopeful of our victory."

Aang continued, his gaze never leaving Katara's, "But because of that, I felt like the only way to assure that we could really win in the end, was to change my whole mental outlook on how to approach whatever we may face in the coming days, I decided to give up on just hoping or a better future and trust only my instincts and actions; I was so scarred that trusting in hope as strongly as I did during the course of the invasion would only cause me to fail again, so I decided to shut it out completely."

Katara broke her gaze from Aang and looked down to the ground miserably; but Aang gently placed his hand under her chin and slowly tilted her head up so her eyes were fixed on his.

"I was trying to shut out anything that would cause me to fail again," Aang said softly. "But I had no idea that I would be shutting out the person who I am trying so hard for in the first place too."

Katara stared hopefully into Aang's eyes, and she felt her heart skip a beat when she saw a twinkle return briefly to them.

Aang gently cupped her cheek into his hand and Katara let herself relax into it. "Katara, I know the things I said just now hurt you, and I'm so sorry I caused you that pain," Aang continued. "But I still stand by what I said earlier, I never lied to you."

Katara felt her breath hitch in her throat; her eyes widened in a semi-state of shock. Was this really going where she thought it was?

"Katara…" Aang began. "I knew what was at stake today, everyone did. Even your father said that everyone was willing to risk everything for the invasion. I knew there was a possibility that I might not come back, and so I had to let you know just in case I didn't; I had to let you know…that…" Aang's voice left him as he took a moment to sum up his courage, hoping what he was about to say would not cause Katara an even larger amount of pain than what he had already caused her.

Aang took a deep breath and stared deeply into her beautiful ocean blue eyes, finding the strength he needed to continue deep within the sparkling pools.

"Katara, I-I love you." Aang said. "I've loved you for so long Katara, ever since you freed me from the iceberg all of those months ago. I loved you right then and there, and my love has only grown stronger for you with each passing day I'm given the opportunity to be with you."

Katara's eyes grew wide and felt her cheeks heat up at his words; did she hear correctly? Was this for real?

Aang continued, "I was so scared today at the thought of never seeing you again, never telling you how much you really meant to me, and I knew our time alone together was going to be brief; so I kissed you. I hoped that, in case I didn't return to you, you would at least know how I felt, even if I didn't get to really be with you in the end; I just wanted you to know that you mean so much more to me than just my best friend."

Katara's heart swelled with joy at his heartfelt confession. She suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to wrap her arms around him, to lose herself in his inviting warmth and never let go. Katara felt a few more tears escape her eyes as Aang gently flicked his thumb up, again wiping them away.

Aang suddenly looked away from Katara, his gaze resting on the ground. "But because of everything I've put you through today, both during the invasion and what I said to you earlier, I know I don't truly deserve someone as wonderful as you…" Aang said sadly. "I just need you to know that the kiss I gave you meant so much to me, more than you'll ever know…and that's something I could never lie to you about."

Katara felt her happiness burst inside of her chest; it wasn't just a kiss, he loved her, he really and truly loved her. She felt elated as all of her sadness and hurt instantly melted away at the hand Aang's loving words. She felt tears of joy rushing at full force down her face, not even bothering to dry them off.

Aang continued to stare at the ground. Katara had yet to say anything, was she rejecting him? Aang started to believe she was as she remained silent. He felt hot tears of frustration once again stinging his eyes and his courage slowly leaving him.

"L-look Katara," Aang said shakily. "If you don't feel the same way…then I'm sorry I dumped all of that on you…I-I…I jus---"

Aang found he couldn't finish his sentence, because Katara had snaked her slender arms around his neck and was pressing her soft lips against his in a searing kiss. Aang's eyes widened in unexpected shock but fluttered closed a second later as he looped his arms around her waist and leaned into the kiss.

This was nothing like he had ever experienced before; he had enjoyed the kiss he had given her this morning, but this…this was the most incredible sensation he had ever felt before in his young life. His dreams had finally manifested into reality, but even his most wonderful and amazing dreams couldn't compare to the sweet feeling of reality which was playing before him now.

After a few more seconds, Katara finally pulled back from her kiss, her cheeks a deep red and her eyes sparkling with a glow that Aang had never seen before in those gorgeous azure orbs.

Aang was blushing crimson as well. "K-Katara…?" Aang said nervously. "Does this…does this really mean…?"

Katara smiled widely and gently stroked his cheek, "Yes Aang," she said. Her voice, Aang thought, sounding more beautiful than he could ever remember. "I love you too."

Aang broke out into a huge grin, and gently wrapped his arms around Katara's waist. Katara sighed softly and leaned into him, resting her head on her shoulder, feeling a warm sense of comfort wash over her as the boy she loved held her strongly in his arms. The newly formed couple stared out into the dark night sky together, each enjoying the warmth and happiness that the other gave them.

"Katara?" Aang said softly, breaking the silence.

"Yes Aang?" Katara said in a loving tone.

"I'm sorry." Aang replied.

Katara turned her head and looked into his stormy grey eyes once again.

"Aang, you don't need to apologize." Katara said, reaching for his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I know you were upset when I said you lied to me, but--"

"No, not that," Aang interrupted. "For losing hope again."

"Aang," She said. "You don't have to be sorry; you were just upset because of everything that happened today, please don't beat yourself up about it."

Aang squeezed Katara's hand as he replied "But it was more than that, I should have never lost hope in the first place, I had absolutely no reason to."

Katara looked deeper into Aang's grey orbs. "Why do you say that Aang?" She asked curiously.

Aang lifted his hand up and gently stroked Katara's cheek with his thumb, staring ever more valiantly into the eyes he had grown to love so much.

"Because you were always there for me Katara, no matter how bad everything got." Aang replied. "You've told me many times that I'm the one that gives people hope, but after everything we've been through together, I realize that I've always had someone giving me hope as well, hope that I can do what I'm destined to accomplish and hope that everything will turn out all right in the end no matter how wrong everything else gets; it's you Katara. You give me all the hope I could ever ask for, and I'll never forget that again."

Katara's smile grew ever wider as she felt one last joyful tear roll down her cheek. She gently cupped Aang's face in her hands and brought them together for another passionate kiss.

Throughout the rest of the night, as he continued to hold Katara resting peacefully in his arms, one thought continually ran through his mind, making him smile softly to himself:

Hope…It's such a beautiful word.

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So what did you all think?! I hope you enjoyed it. When I thought of the ending, it made me smile, so I hope it made you smile at least a little as well! (Especially with such an angsty beginning! XD).

Any and all reviews are greatly appreciated. If you loved it, great! If you think there are areas I need to work on, please let me know so I can improve my writing to make an even better story next time!

Well, I'm out for now; Kataang always put me in the mood for DDR ;).


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